Mahalo, Brudda

All right. Artistic fervor aside for the time being, let's delve into the food. One of my vices is, indeed, the bestest of any ethnic food that comes my way. Case in point, a local haunt by the name of "Loco Grinz". It's fairly expensive for a plate, but it is worth it every now and then for a genuine Hawaiian plate lunch.

Vice number two of mine is the travel channel. Last night was a Man v. Food episode that focused on the big island and it's various local fare. Most of the big food is some kind of Hawaiian mish-mash of converging cultures, resulting in the construction of such dishes as the teriyaki and beef cheeseburger with egg on top. Lovely, tears beginning to stream. Wait, here comes a new dish, with a local history no less. Who cares about the history, though, when a plate of Moco Loco is staring you in the face and watching YOU back down? Lets, do a layer by layer roll call of this monstrosity. Pile of steamed white rice? Check. Two 1/4 lb. hamburger patties? Check. Two sunnyside up fried eggs? Check. Last but not least, the succulent brown gravy to drizzle over top of this protein/carb behemoth. Check. Large book to cover the hard-on in your lap. Optional.

Long in short, I was now curious to know as to whether or not this local establishment actually had the fabled Moco Loco on the menu, as I had never seen it. Today, young Cassius in tow, I boldly strode into yon restaurant and kindly asked the girl for a menu. There it is, staring right at me; the certified angus beef interpretation that is prepared on this premises. I order it in a two entree meal. Here goes the order: french fries, pork fried noodles, steamed veggies, chicken katsu, and a loco moco. Insane, I know. Cassius is going to have nightmares from this plate for years, images of the wild beefy gravy pile snarling and fighting off his father trying to plunge far too weak a weapon into its' thick hide. In any case, this post has taken over 3 hours to write, as my fingers are so fat and swollen that I can no longer dial a phone, and any keyboard activity is strictly hunt and peck. I'd have it no other way, as it is diet season for me, and this was the treat of the week. What a treat. Aloha, slutbags.